Hogwarts Presents . . . The Weakest Link!
by Teagal7
Summary: The Hogwarts gang has the oppertunity to play the hit game show 'The Weakest Link'. How will they fare against the ultimate game show host (and possible witch!), Anne Robinson?!
1. The Weakest What?

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A/N: I do not own Harry Potter, or The Weakest Link, or Anne Robinson - they were all concieved by other, much more brilliant people. I would also like to state for the record that I am probably the world's biggest fan of The Weakest Link, so by calling Anne Robinson a witch, I mean it in only the most loving way possible - as all Harry Potter fans should understand! :)

It was a typical evening at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry. Harry Potter sat at the Griffindor table, his dinner practically untouched as he and his best friend, Ron Weasley, plotted new Quidditch moves for the upcoming season.   
"Now, say this bit of bread here is the seeker, and - here, now, Hermione, are you going to eat that tomato?"  
"Really, it must be nice to eat dinner with people who have stopped playing with their food like five year olds." Hermione sighed as she surrendered the rest of her salad to Ron's colorful Quidditch diagram.   
"So, say this lettuce here is a bludger, and you are here and - "  
"Can I have your attention please." Dumbledore's jovial voice carried over the din of the Great Hall and brought the students to relative quiet.  
"Neville, stop eating the quaffle!" Ron hissed rather loudly.  
"Quiet at the Griffindor table!" McGonagall said severely, and Ron and Harry sheepishly swept their Quidditch plans into a napkin. Dumbledore cleared his throat and started again.  
"I'm sorry to disturb you at the most important and enjoyable time of your day, but I have a rather exciting announcement. This fall, Hogwarts is going to play host to a rather exciting game show, one that those of you from Muggle families may be familiar with. It is called _The Weakest Link._"   
A murmur of puzzled conversation began to drift through the Great Hall.  
"The weakest what?" Ron turned to Harry and Hermione. Harry just shrugged. His summers with the Dursley's did not include much TV watching, and if they did, Dudley wouldn't be caught dead watching something that actually required thinking. Hermione, on the other hand, was looking rather excited.  
"The Weakest Link! It's only the greatest game show ever! Far better than that Millionaire show, if you ask me."  
"Isn't that the show with that creepy host, Anne something-or-other?" asked Dean Thomas. Hermione shot him a look.  
"She isn't _creepy_, Dean. She a strong, intelligent woman who has the confidence to put people in their place!"  
"Ok, easy, Hermione!" Ron said. "Anyway, it's a Muggle thing, right? So why would the show be coming to Hogwarts? How do they even know about Hogwarts?"  
"Excellent question, Ron." Dumbledore's voice calmly interrupted the conversation.  
"How did he hear us from all the way over there?!" Ron whispered to Harry.  
"Pay attention, Weasley." McGonagall interjected again, leaving Ron once again stunned silent.   
"As I was saying," Dumbledore continued, " we are to be the fortunate hosts of a very popular Muggle television show. I'm sure many of you are asking the obvious question - how would a muggle show possibly know anything about the magical world? To save a great deal of time and explanation, I will say this: there are a considerable number of witches and wizards who live and work within the muggle community, but keep ties to their magical background. The host of the Weakest Link, Anne Robinson, is one such person. She has graciously agreed to do a very special magic addition of The Weakest Link here at Hogwarts during her holiday this fall. It was decided amongst the heads of each of the four Houses that a quiz tournament such as this would be the perfect opportunity for Houses to earn points outside of the classroom and off the Quidditch field. Houses will therefore be choosing 2 representatives to play in the Inter-House Weakest Link Championship. The house of the winning player will receive the total number of house points banked in the game, which is sure to be a considerable amount. You should all be thinking about who will best represent you in the tournament, and your head's of house will be collecting names of those who wish to compete. Voting will take place two weeks from today. Good luck to everyone!"  
"I should have known!" Hermione burst out the moment Dumbledore stopped talking.  
"Should have known what?" Harry asked.  
"That she was a witch! It all fits so perfectly now."  
"How do you figure?" Dean Thomas asked.  
"Look at the clothes she wears, those long black coats and stuff. Her whole attitude, everything! It's perfect!"  
"Well, I take it you'll be trying out for this Weakest whatever, then, huh?" Ron asked.  
"Of course! Can you imagine getting to meet Anne Robinson in person?! I don't know what I'd do!"  
"Probably faint." Ron said dryly. Harry laughed.  
"What about you, Harry? Are you going to try out?" Neville asked tentatively.  
"Er- maybe. I hadn't really thought about it." Harry shrugged.   
"This is going to be wonderful." Hermione sighed.  
"Hermione, you're starting to scare me."  
"Shut up, Ron."  
"You know, maybe I'll try out for this thing." Ron said carefully. Hermione snorted.  
"What?? You don't think I'm good enough to compete??" Ron challenged. Hermione gave him a patronizing glance.  
"It's not that, Ron. I just don't think this is your sort of thing - I doubt that there's going to be many questions about Quidditch teams or chocolate frogs or whatever. It's a little more . . . intellectual."  
"So you're saying I'm not intellectual?!" Ron fumed, jumping from his seat. He glanced around at the people sitting near him, to see their reaction.  
"Harry did you hear what she just said?!"  
"Er - yes . . . " Harry looked down at his plate and continued innocently eating his dinner. This was one argument he did not want to be involved in.  
"Look, Ron, I don't want you to take this personally -" Hermione tried again gently, but Ron cut her off.  
"Don't take it personally?! How many other people around here think I'm a stupid git?!"  
"We do!" Fred and George Weasley both cried out from the other end of the table.  
"Shut up!" Ron roared. He whirled back to Hermione, glaring at her.   
"I'm going to try out for this quiz thing, and I'm going to win!" he shouted at her.  
"Not if I have anything to do with it!" Hermione shouted back. The two of them stood practically nose to nose, screaming at one another.   
"Ron, are you going to eat that pudding?"  
"Shut up, Harry!!!"  
"Hey, this could be pretty exciting! Bets, anyone?" George Weasley addressed the Griffindor table, most of which sat watching the argument with interest.  
"Three galleons on Hermione!"  
"Yeh, I'm in for five!"  
"I'll put two galleons on you, Harry!"  
"Wait," Harry started, snapping back to attention, "I'm not trying out for the show."  
The Weasley twins spent the rest of dinner collecting piles of money all along the table, while Ron and Hermione sat in stony silence, refusing to even look at each other.   
It was going to be a long two weeks.

*******************************************************

Ron and Hermione managed to avoid speaking to one another for two very tedious, painful weeks. Harry remain stuck between them, and by the end of the second week he was beginning to get pretty sick of the both of them. It was with great relief that he entered the common room on the night of the voting, hoping that the choosing of the players might lessen the tension between his two best friends.   
"All right now, I believe everyone has voted, and I have had time to tally the results." McGonagall announced to the usually silent common room. "  
The student who relieved the most votes as the Griffindor representative for the Weakest Link quiz game was Hermione Granger. Congratulations."  
Hermione beamed as the other students clapped loudly for her. She shot a smug look at Ron, who kept his gaze fixed on the tabletop.   
"Now, the student who relieved the second highest number of votes was Harry Potter," McGonagall said, frowning slightly at the scroll in front of her. "Since Harry Potter did not submit his name to be chosen for the contest, then our second representative, with the third highest number of votes, is Ron Weasley."  
"Prepare to lose!" Ron crowed in Hermione's direction.  
"The purpose of the game, Weasley, is not to beat the other Griffindor player. It's to win the most points for the _house._"  
"Sorry, Professor." Ron mumbled, sitting back down.  
"The contest is going to take place next Saturday night, so I hope you will all help Miss Granger and Weasley to prepare. Any questions?"  
Hermione's hand immediately shot into the air.   
"Professor McGonagall, when will the contestants get to meet Ms. Robinson?"  
Ron began to snicker under his breath, and Hermione shot him a fiery look from across the common room.  
"All contestants will have an opportunity to meet Ms. Robinson on Saturday, before the game. She will be staying through the weekend and will be the guest of honor at the school-wide feast Sunday afternoon."  
"So we'll all get to meet her, then?" Fred Weasley asked, with a mischievous grin. Professor McGonagall eyed him suspiciously.   
"Yes, Weasley, but I would hope you and your brother have the common sense to refrain from pulling any of your stunts on Anne Robinson. She is not a person to be trifled with, as I'm sure any of your classmates who are familiar with her show could tell you."  
As Professor McGonagall strode out of the common room, all eyes turned to Hermione and Ron, who stood in opposite corners, glaring at one another.   
"If Ron and Hermione manage to kill each other before Saturday, does that mean you get to play then, Harry?" George Weasley asked, laughing. The rest of the crowd joined is laughter, and then slowly began to disperse towards their bedrooms. Harry did not find the joke amusing, however. He feared George might be right - Hermione and Ron just might not make it until Saturday. And if they _did_ manage to curse each other into oblivion, then he, Harry, would be out not one but two best friends.   
He was starting to wonder if Voldemort was somehow in on all this game show business.  


E/N: Stay tund for more of: Hogwarts Presents . . . The Weakest Link! 


	2. The Tension Builds . . .

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A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed part 1! Here is a very brief interlude before we get to - tahdah! - the game! I should be posting the conclusion later on tonight. :)

The Saturday of the game show came quickly, and by breakfast time, the Great Hall was buzzing with noisy excitement and activity. At the Griffindor table, however, Harry was surrounded by uncomfortable silence, as Ron and Hermione ate their breakfast and refused to look at or speak to anyone.   
"Here comes trouble." Neville whispered to Harry, who glanced up quickly, wondering how his day could possibly get any worse.  
Draco Malfoy was crossing the Great Hall towards them, sneering as usual.  
"Well, if it isn't The Weakest Link himself, and his two little know-nothing friends! Can't wait beat you _again_, Potter, even if it is a stupid Mudblood game."  
"Wha- I'm not even playing in the ruddy game, Malfoy!" Harry cried in exasperation. Malfoy blinked at him for a few seconds.  
"Slytherin's the best! Haha!" he said, then sauntered off with Crabbe and Goyle. Harry shook his head slowly, watching the three of them walk away.  
"Promise me one of you will beat that great idiot!" he said, turning back to Ron and Hermione.  
"Sure I will - right after I take out Miss-Know-It-All."  
"It's all right, Harry, we both know that I can handle Malfoy, no problem. Right after I vote off Ron."  
"Arrgh! You two are insane! And you're driving _me_ insane, right along with you!"   
"Don't look at me, she's the one who started all this!" Ron cried, pointing his finger dramatically at Hermione. She rolled her eyes.  
"Ron, I was trying to save you from the embarrassment of making a fool of yourself in front of the whole school! But I guess you're an even bigger fool than I thought!"  
Ron sputtered angrily, trying to think of an appropriate comeback.  
"At least I'm not in love with the bloody host!" Harry cringed. Hermione looked as though she might hit Ron, and Ron looked as though he was challenging her to.  
"You take that back!"  
"After you take back the part where you said I was stupid!"  
"I never _said_ you were stupid, Ron!"  
"Well, you implied it!  
"That's different!"  
"Is not!"  
"Is to!"  
"Oooo - fight!" Lee Jordan shouted, and a crowd began to circle the two fuming friends. Harry stood helplessly as both reached for their wands.  
"Well, maybe I'll have to make you take it back!" Ron growled.   
"Oooooo!" went the crowd. Hermione laughed.  
"Like you would even know how, Ron!" she cried.  
"Oh, that was low!" Fred Weasley exclaimed, rubbing his hands together devilishly.  
"Are you going to let her talk to you like that, Ron?" Dean shouted.  
"STOP!"  
Professor McGonagall's voice silenced the crowd, and students immediately began to disperse.  
"Stop it now! The both of you! I don't care what personal conflicts the two of you have, just pull yourselves together!" she continued, stepping between Ron and Hermione, who had both put down their wands and were staring down at the floor. McGonagall waited a few moments before continuing.  
"The contestants are to report to the library now, to prepare for the show. Can I trust the two of you to go and get ready without killing each other?"  
"Yes, ma'am."  
"Fine then. You are both representing Griffindor house, and I trust you understand the responsibilities that go with that honor. I shall _not_ be disappointed, correct?"  
"Yes ma'am."  
McGonagall looked them both up and down carefully. The she said, very quietly,  
"Good luck to the both of you. Now hurry along, before you're late."  
Harry watched as Ron and Hermione started towards the stairs, walking slowly and calmly. Then Ron glanced over his shoulder, making sure Professor McGonagall was no longer in sight, before hip-checking Hermione aside and dashing up the stairs.  
"Come back here, you disgusting - !!!" Hermione screamed, jumping back to her feet and chasing Ron up the staircase.   
Harry shook his head. 

  



	3. Let The Game Begin!

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A/N: All right, folks! Here's the part you've all been waiting for - The Game! I know, I've changed some of the rules slightly in the interest of time and confusion. Enjoy! 

Ron Weasley arrived at the door of Hogwarts library pink-faced and out of breath. He could hear Hermione thundering down the hallway behind him, yelling something nasty. He grinned. Perhaps he was going to enjoy this even more than he imagined. He quickly opened the library door and hurried inside.   
The other contestants were already there. They were sitting in a row along one wall, looking nervous and uncomfortable. Except for Draco Malfoy, Ron noted, who was looking smug as usual.   
"You're late. Sit down." Madam Pince ordered him curtly, nearly pushing him into his seat at the end of the row.   
"Hello, there. This ought to be exciting, eh?" Justin Finch-Fletchley whispered quietly to Ron. Ron smiled weakly.   
"Where's this famous woman?" he asked.  
"Still getting ready. Probably oiling her whips and chains, I expect."   
"Whips and wha -?" Ron stuttered in surprise. Perhaps this game show thing was not his cup of tea after all.  
"Haha - just joking with you, Ron. I forgot, you've probably never seen this show before, have you?"  
Just then, the library door burst open and in dashed a very frazzled looking Hermione. She had found the time to go back to the dormitory and was now sporting a _Weakest Link_ t-shirt over her school robes. Ron clapped his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing as Hermione took the last empty chair at the other end of the row.   
She was just in time, too. At that moment, a door at the far end of the library opened and in strode a very severe looking woman with auburn hair, glasses, and very stern eyes. She was wearing a long black coat that looked very much like the robes the faculty wore. She walked purposely to the front of the room, and fixed the students with a menacing stare. Everyone squirmed under her gaze, except for Hermione, who was looking as though she was about to meet Santa Claus, and Malfoy, who was too much of a prat to be scared.  
"Are we ready to play _the weakest link_?" she asked.  
The students nodded solemnly, except for Malfoy, who began to snigger under his breath. She was on him instantly.  
"What is your name?" she barked.  
"Malfoy. Draco Malfoy."  
"Do you find something amusing you would like to share with the rest of the group?"  
"No, miss."  
"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to put a damper on your good time."  
"No, miss."  
"Right then, let me introduce myself. I am Anne Robinson, host of _The Weakest Link_." She said all this in a very fast, dry tone, and the students remained rooted to the spot, listening.  
"Let me explain the rules of the game for those of you who are not familiar with the show. You will be playing for house points instead of money, obviously. Players need to bank points in order for them to go on to the next round. At the end of each round you will vote for who you think is the weakest link. The player left at the end of the game will be declared the strongest link and win all the points for his or her house. Everyone else gets nothing. Are there any questions?"  
No one dared to raise their hand. Anne Robinson glanced around at them all again, her eyes coming to rest on Hermione.  
"What is your name?"  
"Hermione Granger."  
"Where did you get that shirt?"  
"I ordered it, from the Weakest Link fanclub."  
"I see. Well you had better take it off. From what I understand, it is not part of your school uniform."  
Hermione looked as though she might cry.   
"Busted!" Ron whispered gleefully under his breath.   
"All right, we are ready to proceed to Great Hall. Contestants, follow me."  
The students followed Ms. Robinson out of the library and down to the Great Hall. Dumbledore and a few other faculty members were waiting there, having just finished setting up the elaborate stage for the game. It was a half circle of little pedestals, each with the name of a contestant printed on the screen in front. In the center of the half circle was a larger pedestal for Anne Robinson.   
"Wow, this looks incredibly authentic. Just like on television!" Justin marveled as the students entered the Great Hall.   
"Welcome, welcome, Ms. Robinson! How do you do?" Dumbledore's jovial voice carried across the hall as he strode over to shake Anne Robinson's hand.   
"Very well, sir. This all looks quite nice."  
"Why thank you, we did want things to seem real for you and those who are familiar with the show. Whenever you're ready, we will call the audience down."   
The student contestants took their places behind the pedestals with their names on them. Ron moaned when he discovered that he was standing between Hermione and Malfoy.   
"Guess Potter was too chicken to show up, eh?" Malfoy was snickering delightedly. Ron rolled his eyes. The rest of the school was beginning to file in to the Great Hall now, taking seats in the stands that were set up against the walls. Ron saw Harry coming in and gave him a feeble wave. He was beginning to wish that he was sitting in the stands instead of down here on the floor, making an idiot of himself.  
"When we are ready, I will ask you each to say your name and your house. Then we will begin the game." Ms. Robinson said, taking her place in the center.   
"Ladies and Gentlemen, faculty, ghosts, and honored guests, it is with great pleasure that I welcome you to this school-wide, inter-house, Weakest Link Championship!" Dumbledore announced. The audience roared with applause and cheers. "With no further delay, Hogwarts proudly presents . . . The Weakest Link!"  
Dumbledore sat down, and Anne Robinson addressed the crowd.  
"Welcome to _The Weakest Link!_ Let's meet our team for this evening."  
She gestured to the girl at the end to say her name.  
"Susan Bones, Hufflepuff."  
There was a thunderous cheer from the Hufflepuff side of the room.  
"Mandy Brocklehurst, Ravenclaw."  
"Millicent Bulstrode, Slytherin."  
"Justin Finch-Fletchley, Hufflepuff."  
"Hermione Granger, Griffindor."  
Ron gulped. Suddenly it was his turn, and it occurred to him that he had never spoken in front of so many people before.  
"R-Ron Weasley, Griffindor."  
"Draco Malfoy, Slytherin."  
"Terry Boot, Ravenclaw."  
"Hey, why are all the players in the same year?" Ron could hear Terry Boot whispering down at the end of the line.   
"Good question." Justin Finch-Fletchley whispered back.  
"Slytherin rules!" Draco Malfoy whispered to no one imparticular, and then he made a face at Ron. Ron turned his gaze back towards Anne Robinson, who was finishing up explaining the rules to the audience.   
"It's time to play _The Weakest Link! _Let's have two minutes, thirty seconds on the clock, starting now!"  
"Oh God, I'm going to be sick!" Hermione suddenly whispered, and Ron gave her a strange look. Since when did Hermione get nervous about quizzes and stuff like that?   
"Susan, after what bird is the golden snitch named?"  
"Er . . . the snidget!"  
"Correct! Mandy, what is . . . "  
Ron's heart was pounding so hard, he was sure that Hermione and Malfoy must be able to hear it beating. The questions went by so fast, Ron barely had time to register what was being said. All of a sudden -   
"Hermione, what author of the best-selling book _Magical Me_ -"  
"Gilderoy Lockhart!" Hermione shouted before Anne Robinson even finished the question.   
"Correct. Ron, What candy uses the stingers of a Billywig as the secret ingredient?"  
"Oh! Oh! Its - Fizzing Whizbees!" Ron stammered in a total panic.  
"Correct! Draco, what professional Quidditch broom was first featured during the World Cup tournament of 1967?"  
"The Nimbus 1000!"  
"Correct! Terry . . . "  
Ron took a deep breath. The game was moving too fast for him to think, let alone breathe. Draco was practically jumping up and down after getting his question right. Ron had the urge to knock him over the head, but then thought better of it.  
"No, the correct answer was 'setting it on fire'. Susan, what is -"  
"Wait! What - she's going around again?!" Draco whispered in a panic.  
"Yes, you idiot! It keeps going until the two minutes are up!" Ron hissed back, trying to focus himself. The first two players got their questions wrong, and Anne was now moving right along to,  
"Millicent, what famous wizard first completed a trans-Atlantic magic carpet flight in 1752?"  
"Um, um, um . . . Albus Dumbledore?"  
"Nope, I'm sorry, the correct answer was . . ."  
"Oh, Millicent, you great toad! What kind of answer was that?" Draco moaned under his breath.  
"Hermione, what branch of the Ministry of Magic is in charge of controlling dragon breeding?"  
"The Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures."  
"Correct! Ron, what is the name for an 8 eyed spider capable of human intelligence?"  
"Oh - er - it's a - um- Acromantula!"  
"Yes. Draco, what was the first shop to be opened in Diagon Alley in the fall of 1642?"  
"Um - its was . . . oh, I know this . . . it was the . . . the . . . "  
"I'm sorry, your time is up. The correct answer was Flourish & Blotts."  
"Stupid bookstore." Draco muttered.  
"Well team, in our first round you managed to bank 275 house points. Those points will be carried over to the next round - but one of you will not. Which one of you can't tell your wand from a broomstick? One of you is about to leave with nothing. It's time to vote off who you think is _the weakest link!_"  
Ron picked up the pen that hung from the side of his pedestal. He hesitated for a moment, and then wrote HERMIONE in big bold letters. He could see Hermione smiling smugly beside him, and knew that she had written down his name, the jerk.   
"All right, voting over. Let's see who you think is _the weakest link! _"  
At the end of the row, Susan Bones was the first to reveal her answer.  
"Millicent."  
"Millicent."  
"Terry."  
"Millicent."  
"Ron."  
"Hermione."  
"HARRY POTTER!"  
Anne Robinson frowned as Draco shouted his answer. The audience began to laugh, and Draco glared around at them menacingly until they stopped.  
"Er- Millicent."  
Anne paused for a moment, scanning the faces of her contestants.  
"Draco?"  
"Yes."  
"You are aware that Harry Potter is not a contestant in this game."  
"Yes. But I'd just like to take this as another opportunity to tell the world that Potter stinks! Hahaha!" Draco cried before bursting into laughter.  
"Clearly you have missed the entire purpose of the game, so we will move along to - Hermione, is it?"  
"Yes, ma'am."  
"I see that you are your house-mate have voted for one another. Would you care to explain the strategy in that?"  
"Um . . ."  
"While Draco here has voted for someone who is not even a contestant, at least he did vote for someone who he considers to be his rival. Ron? Any thoughts?"  
"Er . . . go . . . Griffindor?"  
Anne Robinson sighed.  
"Well, Millicent, it seems that you are not the only fool on this panel. With 4 votes, you _are_ the weakest link. Goodbye!"  
Millicent stomped off the stage glowering, while the audience applauded. Ron gave Hermione a sideways glance. She refused to look at him. Draco was still snickering.   
"Round 2 everyone, with ten seconds coming off the clock . . ."  
Another fast-paced round began. Susan Bones got her question right, but Mandy got her's wrong. Justin got his right, and Hermione naturally got hers correct, and suddenly it was Ron's turn.  
"Ron, what is mascot of the Irish Quidditch team?"  
"The leprechaun."  
"Correct. Draco . . . "  
Another round flew by, and Ron was amazed to find the answers seemed to just pop into his head and out of his mouth before he even had a chance to think about it. At one point he caught sight of Harry in the stands, who gave him the thumbs up.   
" . . . 300 house points in that round. It's now time for you to vote off who you think is the weakest link!"  
Ron had the urge to write down Draco's name, but stuck with his original plan and wrote down Hermione's.  
"Terry."  
"Draco."  
"Terry."  
"Ron."  
"Hermione."  
Terry."  
"Draco."  
"Well, well, well, I see that at least one of our contestants has managed to get ahold of the voting process. Draco, why Terry?"  
"Well, I think Terry is a great annoying prat, and I'm getting sick of standing next to him."  
"I see. Terry, do you have any response to that?"  
"Well, Anne, I'm actually glad that I've been voted off, if it means getting away from Malfoy. I think he was trying to hex me all through the last round, to be honest."  
"Slytherin rules! Haha!" was Draco's response.  
"Hexing is not part of the game. With three votes, Terry, you _are_ the weakest link! Goodbye!"  
Terry Boot exited the stage, the Ravenclaw side of the room booing loudly.   
"Would the Griffindors _please_ stop trying to vote one another off?!" Seamus Finnigan shouted loudly from the stands, and a cheer of agreement went up from the Griffindor side of the room. Ron turned and looked at Hermione. Surprisingly this time she looked back.  
"You're better than I thought." she said slowly.  
"I know." Ron retorted hotly.   
"Next round, let's vote for Draco, ok?" she whispered, as Anne prepared to start round three.  
"I'll think about it." Ron replied as the game began.  
Round three heated up quickly. Susan Bones got her question wrong - for the third time, Ron noted - but then Mandy, Justin, Hermione, and Ron all managed to get their questions right.   
"Malfoy, you had better bank!" Ron hissed.  
"Draco, what is the smallest known breed of dragon still found in the world today?"  
"Erm - the Swedish Short-Snout."  
"No, its the Peruvian Vipertooth."  
"You idiot!" Ron glared at Malfoy, who shrugged innocently.  
"Can't win 'em all, Weasley."   
The other contestants were equally as upset. Susan Bones managed to get her next question right, but slammed his fist down on the front of her pedestal anyway. When the round ended, Anne Robinson looked around at the them triumphantly.  
"Well, players in that round you banked a measly, pathetic, 35 house points."  
The entire room seemed to groan in unison.  
"I urge you all to eject the idiot, and vote off who you think is the weakest link!"  
Ron abandoned the idea of voting for Hermione and quickly wrote down Draco. He had a feeling everyone else was doing the same.  
"All right, team, let's see who you think is the weakest link!"  
"Draco."  
"Draco."  
"Draco."  
"Draco."  
"Draco."  
"Weasley."  
"Draco, you seem to have upset your teammates in the last round. How do you suppose that happened?"  
"Oh, they're all just jealous. They knew I could beat them in the end, you see."  
"Oh is that so? Justin, why have you voted for Draco?"  
"Because I hate him. And because he lost all our points. And he's dumb. I think that's everything."  
"Well, I suppose you can't argue with that. Draco, with 5 votes against you, you are the weakest link! Goodbye!"  
"Slytherin rules!" Draco shouted as he walked off the stage and everyone, including some of the Slytherins, booed. Hermione turned to Ron.  
"You know, I think we could beat the rest of them. And then it just comes down to you and me."  
"Sounds fine with me. Get all the other idiots out of the way first."  
"Right then. I'll see you in the final round!"  
"Round four everyone! It's time to play _the weakest link_!" Anne announced, and the game began.  
Susan once again got her question wrong, and Hermione gave Ron a quick look. He nodded slightly. She was toast.  
The round went much more quickly now with the really dismal players gone, and Ron managed to answer three questions right before the round was up. So far, neither he nor Hermione had gotten any questions incorrect. The Griffindors were cheering more loudly than ever.  
"My, my. It seems the Griffindor students have gotten their act together." Anne commented after the fourth round. "An intelligent bunch, are we? But will that intimidate some of the other players? We shall see! It's time to vote off the weakest link!"  
Ron voted for Susan. He knew Hermione was doing the same, and Mandy probably would too, since she was a Ravenclaw. After that, though, who would be next?  
"Voting over, let's see who will be the next to leave."  
"Hermione."  
"Susan."  
"Ron."  
"Susan."  
"Susan."  
"Well my goodness, what have we here?! Could that be . . .teamwork I see occurring between the Griffindor players?! Hermione, care to enlighten us?"  
Hermione shrugged.   
"Susan got a lot of questions wrong. And she voted for me. That's why I'm voting her off."  
"Susan, with three votes, you are the weakest link! Goodbye!"  
"All right, round five. So far, team, you have bank a total of 860 points. Let's play the weakest link!"  
It was a tough round. Mandy and Justin were both tough players, but Ron was used to the game by now. He and Hermione banked quickly and answered correctly each question they got. Ron could tell that the other two players were nervous, and Mandy slipped up on the last, and most vital question of the round. Ron cleared his throat quietly and Hermione nodded. She was as good as gone.  
"All right players, in that round you banked 235 points, which will go on to the next round . . . but one of you will not. Whose house is changing the password as we speak? One of you is about to leave with nothing. It's time to vote off the weakest link."  
"Ron."  
"Mandy."  
"Mandy."  
"Mandy."  
The votes fell exactly the way Ron knew they would. Suddenly, Anne was asking him,  
"Ron, why have you voted for Mandy?"  
"Um - she messed up a question." he replied sheepishly.  
"I'm sure you have never made a mistake before, have you, Ron?" Anne asked smartly. Ron blushed.  
"No - well, I mean - yeh - I didn't mean it like that . . ." he stammered, while Mandy stood their with tears in her eyes.  
"Too bad. With three votes, Mandy, you are the weakest link! Goodbye!"  
The Ravenclaws booed.   
"We aren't going to be very popular after this, are we?" Justin remarked nervously as the game plunged into round 6.  
Clearly, Justin was very nervous. He missed the first question entirely, but did bank the points that Ron and Hermione collected. The round went by quickly, and Ron's heart began to beat faster. Only one more vote left. Then it would be just Hermione and himself. He could feel his confidence starting to wane, but forced himself not to think about it. The final vote passed quickly.  
"Hermione."  
"Justin."  
"Justin."  
"It looks as the the Griffindors have fooled us all and formed an alliance." purred Anne Robinson. "Hermione, why have you voted for Justin?"  
"This is the final round," Hermione said with confidence, "and I want to play someone I know I can beat."  
"Ooooooo!" went the crowd.   
Ron's face turned nearly purple with anger. Hermione kept her gaze steadily on Anne while Ron shot daggers into the side of her head with his eyes. Justin saluted them both and walked off the stage.  
The Griffindor side of the room was going crazy now. Ron could see Fred and George jumping up and down in their seats, and Harry was looking rather nervous.   
"The final round. It seems that Griffindor house is now guaranteed the points, but who will be the player to win the glory? Let's play the weakest link!"  
Ron swallowed hard. Anne was now explaining the rules.  
"The questions will go in pairs. Players will have to answer their question correctly to stay in the game. The first player to answer a question wrong loses. The strongest link from the first round get's to pick who goes first. Since both players answered all their questions correctly, the strongest link was the player who banked the most money, and that was you, Hermione."  
Ron swallowed again. Hermione was going to get to pick, and he had a feeling that was a bad sign. He shook his head a little to force himself to focus and stay calm.  
"I'll go first." Hermione said.  
"All right then, here is your question. Which modern wizard was featured on the 50th anniversary collectors card found in the popular candy Chocolate Frogs?"  
Ron watched all the color drain from Hermione's face. She didn't know it. He bit his tongue to keep from laughing - she was the one who told him the questions would never be about stupid things like chocolate frogs. He stood there, watching as she struggled to come up with an answer.  
"Cornelius Gilcottons." she said softly, shaking her head.  
"I'm sorry, the correct answer, believe it or not, was Albus Dumbledore."  
Applause and laughter broke out through the entire room, and Dumbledore bowed his head with a small smile. Ron was too busy freaking out to enjoy the moment, however. He knew he had to get his question right to win.   
"Ron, here is your question. If you get this right, you will be tonight's winner. In chess, which piece is only allowed to move diagonally across the board?"  
A gasp went up from the Griffindor side of the room.  
"He knows this!!!" Fred Weasley cried loudly in surprise, and the rest of the room began to laugh. Ron could barely contain his smile. This was fate, he knew it was.  
"The bishop." he said confidently.  
"That is the correct answer. Congratulations, Ron you are tonight's strongest link and have won your house a grand total of 1095 points!!"  
Ron nearly fell over. The room exploded with cheers, and the Griffindor students began to rush on to the stage, swarming around Ron. Fred and George lifted him onto their shoulders.  
"Ron, we had no idea you were like Percy! We're going to have to start teasing you more, you great egghead!"  
Harry came rushing up with a smile on his face.  
"Ron, that was awesome! You were excellent!"  
"Thanks!" Ron stammered, as more and more people thumped him on the shoulders and shook his hand. Never before in his life had Ron Weasley been the center of attention. And he liked it, very much.  



	4. A Happy Ending! (Awwww!) :)

Untitled Document

A/N: Well, we couldn't leave Ron and Hermione hating each other, now could we? This is, alas, the final installment - hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

The party in the Griffindor common room lasted long into the night. Ron was so happy he hardly noticed Hermione's absence until Ginny pulled him aside.  
"She's really upset Ron. Hadn't you better go and talk to her?"  
"Why should I? It's not my fault she's such a know-it-all! Anyway, she got what she deserved!" Ron replied, still stinging from the memory of Hermione's comment at the end of round 6. Ginny frowned.  
"Still, Ron, you worked together to get to the end like that. Without her, who knows if you would have even made it to the last round!"   
Ron opened his mouth to argue with his younger sister, but then shut it again. As much as he hated to admit it. Ginny had a point.  
"You both owe each other an apology. Go and talk to her."  
Ron sighed.   
"Where is she?"

******************************************

Ron crept quietly into the darkened Hogwarts library, keeping a close eye out for Peeves and Mrs. Norris. That's all he needed right now, to lose all the points he had just managed to win. He wondered at Hermione's bravery - it wasn't like her to be wandering around the school late at night.   
"Hermione?" Ron whispered as he entered the library. It was a creepy room this late at night - the tall stacks and shelves cast long dark shadows on the walls. Ron had half a mind to abandon his search for Hermione and go back to the party. Then he heard a snuffling noise from somewhere down a dark aisle. He sighed.  
"Hermione, I know you're in here. At least, I'm pretty sure you're in here. I'm hoping its you making that noise and not Madam Pince."  
"Go away Ron." Hermione quivering voice reached him from behind a shelf. "Go back to your party and celebrate."  
"I'm bored with celebrating." Ron replied, feeling around in the darkness for the end of the shelf. "Ow!" He walked headlong into some hard and dusty. "The least you could do is give me a little light here, Hermione, before I kill myself."  
"Lumos." A weak light appeared several feet in front of him. He skirted the end of the long row of shelves and found her curled up in a tight corner.  
"Have you been crying?" he asked, surprised.  
"Of course I have, you idiot! I've just made a fool of myself in front of the entire school!"  
"Well, now you know what it feels like." said Ron heavily, sitting down next to her.  
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked defensively.  
"Nothing. Just that I'm always the goofy one - stupid old Ron, can't manage to do anything right. It's nice to be the smart one, for a change."   
Hermione was silent for a moment.  
"Ron, I never meant to call you stupid."  
"Then why did you?"  
Hermione sighed in frustration. "You took it the wrong way, and then I got angry, and-"  
"Yeh, well, you said some pretty nasty stuff while you were angry. It was low. I don't even know why I'm speaking to you now."  
"Well, you said some nasty things, too!" Hermione pointed out defensively.  
"Well, you started it."  
"Did not!  
"Did to!"  
"Let's not start this again!" Hermione cried, jumping to her feet. "You are right, Ron, I said some really mean things over the past few weeks, but I'm taking them back now. It was wrong of me to doubt your intelligence, and you certainly proved that to me today! I'm sorry, ok?! I'm honestly, truly sorry!!"  
Ron blushed and looked down at his feet.  
"Well thanks." he said.  
"Ahem!"  
"What? Oh! Yes, I'm sorry too, Hermione. For calling you a know-it-all and all that. I get a little . . . competitive sometimes - middle child syndrome, I guess."   
Hermione smiled. "Ron, you aren't the middle child."  
"Aren't I? Oh, guess I'm not. See? I don't know as much as I think!"  
The two of them laughed for a minute, and then Ron stuck out his hand.  
"Friends?" he asked.  
"Friends." Hermione agreed, shaking her hand.  
"Wow, Harry's going to be really glad we made up. He was sure that we were never going to speak to one another again." Ron said with a sigh of relief and the two of them headed out of the library back towards the Griffindor common room.  
"Well, I guess Harry underestimated the both of us, then." Hermione replied.  
"And where do you think you two are going?" a stern voice called from the shadows. Ron and Hermione froze in their tracks.  
"I think we might be busted." Ron said nervously.  
"Oh, you think so, do you?" the voice went on. A sudden burst of wandlight revealed Anne Robinson standing in the corridor ahead of them, looking cross. Ron gulped.  
"Er - hello there, Ms. Robinson, ma'am." he stammered. Hermione said nothing, and simply stared at her feet.  
"I do believe it is a high offense to be wandering around Hogwarts this late at night." Anne Robinson said severely. Ron and Hermione nodded silently.  
"Well then, perhaps you had better explain yourselves."  
"We were just - um - we were-" Ron began, looking at Hermione helplessly.  
"We were making up." she said simply.   
Anne Robinson said nothing for almost a minute. Ron's heart sank. He was about to have all his wonderful house points taken away by the very woman who gave him all the house points. He made a mental note never to involve himself in a game show ever again.   
"That was a smart thing to do, wasn't it?" Anne suddenly said with a smile. Ron's jaw dropped. Hermione elbowed him.  
"Yeh, it was." he said nervously.   
"Young lady, do you still have that ridiculous shirt?"  
Hermione blushed. "Yes. . . ."  
"Give it here." Anne Robinson demanded. Hermione passed her Weakest Link t-shirt over in silence. Anne magically whipped out a pen and autographed it, then handed it back.  
"Have a pleasant evening." She said, and then whisked away down the hall. Ron and Hermione stood staring at one another in shock, Hermione still clutching her t-shirt.   
"Let's run," Ron finally said, breaking the silence.  
"Good idea," Hermione agreed, and the two of them raced back down the hall towards the safety of the Griffindor common room.  
_Griffindor rules!_

The End 


End file.
